Today is the first day of a well earned break and will not be back at work for two weeks.
A recent joke has been;
Me: I'm going Thailand.
Other person: Which part?
Me: Galway
If you don't get the joke say it in a northern accent.
Yes I will be spending a few days over in Ireland touring the West and North visiting places like Galway, Westport, Mohar, Croagh Patrick and Father Ted's house. I hope to bring back some bril pics and stories.
In the meantime check out this hilarious video:
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Friday, 18 July 2008
Should not be allowed to breed...
This is not a new story but one I have just remembered that adds to what I have to put up with going to and from work.
I was sitting on a front seat upstairs on a double decker bus reading a book. Across from me also at the front is a guy talking on his mobile. There is no one else on the bus except the bus driver.
This guy was obviously talking to his girlfriend and the call was getting very personal so I was listening in.
She had just told him that she was going for a bath and he started going on at great length and detail as to how he could help her take the bath if he was there. It was getting really graphic when the girl stopped him because she realised that others could hear this conversation. His reply to that was " It's OK, there is only one other person on the bus and he is reading a book, so he can't hear us".
What a genius.
I was sitting on a front seat upstairs on a double decker bus reading a book. Across from me also at the front is a guy talking on his mobile. There is no one else on the bus except the bus driver.
This guy was obviously talking to his girlfriend and the call was getting very personal so I was listening in.
She had just told him that she was going for a bath and he started going on at great length and detail as to how he could help her take the bath if he was there. It was getting really graphic when the girl stopped him because she realised that others could hear this conversation. His reply to that was " It's OK, there is only one other person on the bus and he is reading a book, so he can't hear us".
What a genius.
Thursday, 17 July 2008
I'm back..
Sorry with neglecting the blog recently but with one thing and another.....
Anyway, I am back and as I am now all on my own in the department what with Stuart going to pastures new (or gone over to the dark side as I prefer) and everyone else being off on holiday it's lonely in the basement. How Sadaam H. spent all that time in that hole I'll never know.
So what am I going to do for material now?
I will be checking out the best of the web for stuff I think is funny enough to pass on to yaaall.
keep checking back.
Oh, BTW Simon. Those comments about my niece? Can I just remind you that my brother (her father) was trained at great expense by HM goverment to kill people, (ask him about his time spent with 2 Para in a war zone) so it's not me you have to worry about.
On with the blog..
Anyway, I am back and as I am now all on my own in the department what with Stuart going to pastures new (or gone over to the dark side as I prefer) and everyone else being off on holiday it's lonely in the basement. How Sadaam H. spent all that time in that hole I'll never know.
So what am I going to do for material now?
I will be checking out the best of the web for stuff I think is funny enough to pass on to yaaall.
keep checking back.
Oh, BTW Simon. Those comments about my niece? Can I just remind you that my brother (her father) was trained at great expense by HM goverment to kill people, (ask him about his time spent with 2 Para in a war zone) so it's not me you have to worry about.
On with the blog..
Monday, 30 June 2008
Lawrence Richard Giles 1929 to 2008
Last Friday (June 27th) at 7:50 pm my father Lawrence (Lol) Giles passed away.
Dad had been ill for quite some time spending much of it in hospital but his passing on took place at home where he wanted to be. He went quietly with dignity and the minimum of fuss as was typical of his nature.
He will be immensely missed by his family and the many people who knew him.
In a way he will carry on through this blog as the style and humour I employ here I inheritted from him.
Goodbye 'Big Ug' You will not be forgotten.
Dad had been ill for quite some time spending much of it in hospital but his passing on took place at home where he wanted to be. He went quietly with dignity and the minimum of fuss as was typical of his nature.
He will be immensely missed by his family and the many people who knew him.
In a way he will carry on through this blog as the style and humour I employ here I inheritted from him.
Goodbye 'Big Ug' You will not be forgotten.
Friday, 20 June 2008
Giz a job, I can do that..
Two of my mates are having interviews today so good luck to Simon who is going for an IT support job and Rob who is going for a Science Technicans job in the same college I work in, are you insane?
Ste and Kel Are going for some sort of MTV links presenters job, more on that when I find out the full details.
So basically it's Good Luck to all and I hope to be out celebrating with Simon and Rob later.
I applied for a job at MANCAT but no feedback as yet. Come on people, get your finger out, I want a new job too.
The exam season is nearly over and even though the students went off on study leave weeks ago they still come in and use the facilities. So for those on their last exams today good luck and I will see you all on results day.
Ste and Kel Are going for some sort of MTV links presenters job, more on that when I find out the full details.
So basically it's Good Luck to all and I hope to be out celebrating with Simon and Rob later.
I applied for a job at MANCAT but no feedback as yet. Come on people, get your finger out, I want a new job too.
The exam season is nearly over and even though the students went off on study leave weeks ago they still come in and use the facilities. So for those on their last exams today good luck and I will see you all on results day.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
All choked up...
I'm not having much luck recently in the health department, having chipped a bone in my elbow the other week, and nearly dying yesterday.
I was on the bus on my way home from work when I felt a little peckish and after a root around in my bag I found a small chocolate bar. After taking a bite from said bar I decided to breathe in and swallow at the same time, not a good move. The piece of chocolate got stuck in my windpipe and I started to choke. Suddenly I am doubled up in pain unable to breathe hoping there was someone on the bus that would recognise my symptons and come to my aid. all I got was a bloke on the next seat turning round and looking at me as if to say "will you stop making those noises".
Panic time, I'm on my own.
Luckily I have St Johns first aid training and looked at my options.
Number 1; five hard slaps to the back. Try doing this to yourself, it's not easy.
Number 2; The Heimlich Manoeuvre. Again impossible on your own.
By this time I had actually stopped breathing.
Last option, punch myself in the chest.
People on the bus are looking at me as if I was some wierdo having a fit and beating myself up. It must have looked like the toilet scene in Liar, Liar.
I had no intetion of dying on a bus and after three or four punches I managed to get the blockage out and I staggered off the bus. I propped myself up against a tree tears pouring down my face and covered in sweat with what felt like a hot coal in my throat but at least I was breathing again.
Today I think I have fractured my chest bone so it still hurts to breathe but that was a close one.
There should be more people out there with First Aid training as I once came across a person in the same state and managed to get the blockage out with a couple of hard slaps to the back.
You don't get rid of me that easy.
I was on the bus on my way home from work when I felt a little peckish and after a root around in my bag I found a small chocolate bar. After taking a bite from said bar I decided to breathe in and swallow at the same time, not a good move. The piece of chocolate got stuck in my windpipe and I started to choke. Suddenly I am doubled up in pain unable to breathe hoping there was someone on the bus that would recognise my symptons and come to my aid. all I got was a bloke on the next seat turning round and looking at me as if to say "will you stop making those noises".
Panic time, I'm on my own.
Luckily I have St Johns first aid training and looked at my options.
Number 1; five hard slaps to the back. Try doing this to yourself, it's not easy.
Number 2; The Heimlich Manoeuvre. Again impossible on your own.
By this time I had actually stopped breathing.
Last option, punch myself in the chest.
People on the bus are looking at me as if I was some wierdo having a fit and beating myself up. It must have looked like the toilet scene in Liar, Liar.
I had no intetion of dying on a bus and after three or four punches I managed to get the blockage out and I staggered off the bus. I propped myself up against a tree tears pouring down my face and covered in sweat with what felt like a hot coal in my throat but at least I was breathing again.
Today I think I have fractured my chest bone so it still hurts to breathe but that was a close one.
There should be more people out there with First Aid training as I once came across a person in the same state and managed to get the blockage out with a couple of hard slaps to the back.
You don't get rid of me that easy.
Monday, 16 June 2008
Birthday Shock....
In case I hadn't mentioned it earlier it was my birthday on Saturday. I got three birthday cards, one from a couple I know, one from my mother and one from the Guinness brewery (Thanks for the free pint).
But I also got a really good prezzie......Remote control shocking tanks!!
Imagine a tank fighting game where each time you get a direct hit on your opponents tank they get an electric shock through their handset. Hilarious, especially when you froget to tell new comers about the electric shock bit. Want to get your own back on a pub doorman? get a set of these and put in some practice then challenge him to a contest. It's funny watching those big guys squeal in pain.
As for the rest of the day,,,,, well, it gets a bit blurry towards the end and I was taken home in a taxi. I live less than a third of a mile from the last pub but they reckon it was safer than me trying to walk it.
But I also got a really good prezzie......Remote control shocking tanks!!
Imagine a tank fighting game where each time you get a direct hit on your opponents tank they get an electric shock through their handset. Hilarious, especially when you froget to tell new comers about the electric shock bit. Want to get your own back on a pub doorman? get a set of these and put in some practice then challenge him to a contest. It's funny watching those big guys squeal in pain.
As for the rest of the day,,,,, well, it gets a bit blurry towards the end and I was taken home in a taxi. I live less than a third of a mile from the last pub but they reckon it was safer than me trying to walk it.
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